About That French Bread Style Pizza From a While Back...

My dear dear friend, Joel, had a hankering for that French Bread Style Pizza I  made a while ago and posted photos of, and asked me for the recipe. I put it together for him and thought it would be nice to share with a larger audience so here it is...

French Bread Style Pizza (for Joel because he asked for it!)

Disclaimer: I called this “French Bread Style” because the bread I make for it isn’t actually a French loaf. That is a whole other ball of wax that you will struggle with if you are new to making bread. This pizza is constructed in the ‘style’ of French bread pizza because the bread is fully baked BEFORE you top it with the pizza stuff and bake it. You could just buy a loaf of French bread at the bakery…but then it wouldn’t be as much fun. If you make the bread this will take a couple days to make because you let the dough proof over night then need to wait a couple days for it to get a little stale. Also, I don’t know all the exact amounts because I do the majority of my cooking by feel, appearance and taste, not necessarily measurement. If I happen to know an exact measurement I will use it otherwise I will describe what it should feel/look/taste like. Ya dig?

— The Bread —

You will need:

1 package dry ACTIVE yeast

some all purpose flour or bread flour (bread flour is just a bit more finely ground than all purpose both will work well)

a tsp or two of salt

a couple tsps of sugar

some olive oil

a cup or so of warm water (not hot, it will kill the yeast, but more than room temp or the yeast won’t wake up and eat and fart)

a large bowl

a whisk

a wooden spoon

a handful of corn meal

two bread pans

a little extra olive oil

plastic wrap

two large zip lock bags

This is what you do: 

In the mixing bowl combine the yeast, salt, sugar and about a quarter cup of flour. Whisk these dry ingredients together. Then whisk in the water and cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let it sit in a warm spot for 8 to 10 minutes or until a nice froth forms on the top of the mixture. (save the plastic wrap)

Then whisk in about a third of a cup of olive oil. A little more or a little less won’t hurt but don’t go over board or the texture of the dough will never be quite right.

About a half a cup at a time, start adding in more flour and keep mixing with a wooden spoon (or your hand if ya want) until the dough starts to get thick enough to start blobbing up but isn’t too dry just yet. It will be super sticky.

Once the dough is at this stage add a couple Tbsp of flour at a time and mix/knead with your hands. Knead in enough flour that the ball of dough pulls away from the sides and makes a nice ball, but it should still be a little bit sticky…but not gooey. Some people use the term “satin”…not satan you freak!

Then drizzle some oil over the ball and smooth over the whole surface until the the ball is covered. Cover the bowl with the plastic wrap and sit the bowl in a warm place for an hour or until the dough has increased in volume by about 1 and a half.

Pour a tsp of oil in two large zip lock bags. Cut the ball in half and knead slightly to work out the yeast farts. Shape into smaller balls or oblong loafs and put one in each bag. Seal the bags with as little air as possible and put them in the refrigerator over night.

Some time the next day, coat the inside of a couple bread loaf pans with oil and sprinkle with some corn meal. This will give you a nice bottom crust and prevent the bread form sticking in the pans. Remove the dough from the bags. Knead just slightly and reshape into oblong loafs and place one in each pan. Pre-heat your oven to 425 to 450 degrees depending on your elevation and humidity. You will need a higher temp for higher elevation. Humidity can play a huge role depending on the weather. You will have to do this recipe a few times to get the temp and and baking time right for your specific kitchen. You’ll see. NOW…drizzle a bit of oil over the top of the loaves and cover with plastic wrap again and allow to rise for and hour and a half in a warm spot…but not too warm. If you sit them on top of the stove and the surface gets too warm from the oven the loaf will actually start to bake on the bottom and will make the crust burn later.

Remove the plastic and place pans in your pre-heated oven for 28 to 33 minutes, or until the top crust is golden brown and the bread sounds hollow when you lightly tap the top crust. Allow to cool for 15 to 20 minutes before you remove the loaves from the pan.

Allow to sit out on a counter (away from sneaky dogs who like to steal food when no one is looking) uncovered for 24 hours before turning into pizza. You don’t want the bread to be too fluffy and soft when you top it or it will bake up mushy, and no one likes mushy pizza…NO ONE…except maybe Commies. Each loaf will make 4 personal size pizzas.

— The Sauce —

You will need:

some olive oil

one medium sized red onion or a large shallot diced

a bay leaf

a palm full of coriander seeds

one fresh habanero pepper minced (or a palm full of dried pepper flakes if that’s too much for ya bung-hole to handle)

some salt

some black pepper

6 fresh garlic cloves minced fine

8 to 10 stems of fresh oregano

a tube of double concentrated tomato paste

1/4 cup of balsamic vinegar or dry red wine or water if your boring

1 jar of crushed tomato (I use jovial brand)

half of that tomato jar full of water

a fist full of medium chopped fresh parsley

a big knife

a cutting board

a wooden spoon

a medium sized sauce pan (or I use a wok)

This is what you do:

In your sauce pan or wok put a generous amount of olive oil (like maybe a third of a cup), the bay leaf, coriander, onion or shallot, habanero, salt and black pepper. Saute over medium high heat, stirring regularly, until onions are soft.

Then add the garlic and stir for a couple minutes…but don’t let it burn you weirdo! Burnt garlic is bitter. Then squeeze the whole tube of paste in and add the vinegar/wine/water and stir until it’s all smooth. Reduce the heat a bit and cover for four or five minutes.

Then add the crushed tomatoes and stems of oregano. Fill the jar half way with water and get all the tomato guts out and pour it in the pan/wok. Now stir it all up. Check on it from time to time and stir it until the color darkens a couple shades and taste it for salt. Add a little more if you think it needs it.

Once it has darkened a bit in color (this can take 25 to 45 minutes depending on how much liquid is in there) turn the heat down to medium and stir in the parsley. Allow it to reduce down a bit. You don’t want it too runny. It needs to be as thick as my thighs are these days…otherwise it will make mushy pizza and no one likes mushy pizza…EXCEPT COMMIES!

Once it’s nice and thick, turn the heat off and let it cool down, uncovered, until it’s close to room temp, while you prep the other ingredients. (Before you top the pizzas you will remove the stems from the oregano and the bay leaf…unless you’re the type of weirdo who likes to eat that. I don’t judge. To each their own!)

— The Cheese & Toppings —

You will need:

a big ass brick of low moisture mozzarella cheese

some parmesan cheese

some kalamata olives

a bunch of fresh spinach

some button mushrooms

whatever the heck else you wanna put on it those other things are just what I put on mine

a cutting board

a great big knife

some bowls to put toppings in

a cheese grater

This is what you do:

In a large bowl grate all the mozzarella.

If they aren’t sliced already slice or chop up the olives, otherwise they are just too big and fall off the pizza. Put em in a bowl.

Wash, dry, and chop the spinach. It needs to be dried otherwise it will make your pizza mushy and as we have established, ONLY COMMIES LIKE MUSHY PIZZA! You’ll wanna chop it too because it will lay nicer on the pizza. Put it in a bowl.

Slice up some mushrooms and put em in a bowl.

Same deal with whatever you are putting on your pizza. Chop it up and put it in a bowl…except for the parmesan. If you buy it already grated it’s usually in it’s own bowl already.

— Assemble & Bake the Pizzas! —

You will need:

heavy duty foil

a couple cookie sheets

some olive oil

your bread

a bread knife

your sauce

your cheese & toppings

a spoon or ladle for the sauce

This is what you do:

Preheat your oven to 450 degrees.

Cut each loaf into four pieces. I cut it once long-ways through the middle and once short ways through the center. You will end up with two pieces of top crust and two pieces of bottom crust from each loaf. Set them aside.

With your foil make little boats big enough to nestle each piece of bread in one. Drizzle some olive oil in the bottom each foil boat. Nestle the bread in the boat.

Top each bread boat with sauce. If you have spinach, spinach should be next. Then what ever other toppings you like.

Add a generous handful of mozzarella to each pizza. Then sprinkle with parmesan.

Place foils on cookie sheets. Bake each sheet for 11 to 15 minutes or until the cheese looks the way you want it to look. You just want to toast your cheese and cook your toppings. The crust is already done.

Now EAT IT!