CALIFORNIA DREAMIN' -- Cowboys & Indians

Photo Caption: Omar and I had this severely photoshopped photo taken at the MGM Grand Casino resort in Las Vegas on our honeymoon in 2000. It is our faces but most certainly not our bodies. That neck is way too big for me and those arms are far too long for Omar. Plus my tits are natural not silicone. The technician also removed the dark circles that were under both our eyes and whitened my teeth.

As I sit from the comfort of my bed, newest quilt hanging above, clad in pillows of my making (as well as two lovely traditional Japanese bolsters purchased in Oakland, CA’s China Town…yeah, in Oakland the Koreans have a neighborhood, KONO, and all the other Asian Ethnicities have China Town…go figure, ANYWAY) I am taking a look at my side table. My entire life I have been a morning person, meaning my body wakes early in the morning. I attribute this to having been born early in the morning. I have never seen any studies, nor have I conducted any studies myself, but I have a hunch a person’s propensity to wake naturally at a particular time is tied to circadian rhythms set at the time of birth, based on the moment you are born, take your first breath, and have light enter your pupils. It would be interesting to compare data between those born without sight and those of us who are and how this may or may not be affected by loss of sight at a later age. But I’m not a doctor. I’m not smart like that. I went to Art school. Quick, all you Vedic Astrologers out there get on it! But again, I digress. As I get older my time of waking has become more challenging and the Pandemic has made things even worse. I still wake early. It’s just harder to get out of bed. Every morning I wrestle with the real possibility that some day down the road I may not be able.

I live with chronic pain, the source of which has a number of root causes. Pre-Pandemic I was able to rent a space to privately practice yoga and dance on my own terms. I was dramatically injured by a less than ethical yoga instructor in Alameda County and since then have had no desire to practice with anyone else other than my husband. I’ve been studying asana practice for nearly 25 years. I’m confident in my ability to maintain my own practice at this point in my life. At the beginning of the Pandemic I was practicing in my living room, but right now that is not possible. I have a large scale painting in progress taking up the space and there’s no where I feel like paying a ka-chunk of change to for the use of their empty room that may or may not be clean. I am particular about my practice space. It needs to be space set aside just for that purpose so I can record my practice to watch for changes in my range of function and to catch improper alignment. It was a form of journaling for me. So, pain management has become more difficult since the Pandemic, not to mention over the past two years I have broken both my right foot and right arm and I am right handed.

I spend my mornings watching media and observing patterns and trends. Then I drink my home-blended indica dominant herbal tea with Manuka honey, make breakfast for Omar and I, have a cup of coffee (Omar makes THE BEST cup of coffee) and go about the tasks of my day.

On any given day, these tasks may include but not be limited to:

writing a blog article like this

gardening and property maintenance

preparing herbs, fruits and veggies for preservation, culinary, agricultural, and/or medicinal purposes

baking bread or preparing food items for quicker meal prep during the week

playing with Brody

cleaning up animal poop (dog, cat, fish, chicken, mountain lion, etc…

laundry/cleaning

sewing

rollerskating (yes. I said rollerskating)

writing letters

creative writing (novel, poetry, lyrics, etc…

Visual Art projects or exercises

shopping for supplies - groceries, materials, animal food, etc…

listening to music, reading articles or books

personal care like getting my nails did

I do all of these things alone for the most part. Omar works full time and while he works from home, he’s not really here until he gets off work; usually some time after six. After the way my life has been over the past fifteen years I don’t bother much with people on a personal level anymore. Too many horrible things have happened and the people who were supposed to be my friends and family were nowhere to be found, or worse yet; were against me. So, I spend the majority of my time alone and the interactions I have with people are frequently strange. I feel more than socially distanced. I feel isolated and separate and like any time I try to connect there is some misunderstanding and I am told there is something wrong with me. I’m never enough or what is wanted so why make much effort anymore.

I’m really not sure what the deal is, but it seems to be some kind of joke to treat me disrespectfully. It’s like everyone is in on “the plan” to insult me and/or steal: groceries from my kitchen (and prepared food too, I’ve had left overs, frozen veggies, salt, oil, foil, and canned tuna, just to name a few things taken from my kitchen upon break-ins), intellectual property from my home studio (like my Art work, music, and writing), personal belongings (such as six pair of PACT brand black cotton thong panties, sunglasses, lip balm, tools and Art materials) all stolen from my home and studio. We’ve also had sabotage to our property. Our driveway was damaged and our garden has been vandalized. And then when I’m out and about it’s like it’s a big joke to treat me like I’m an idiot or child. I’m not your “dear” or “sweetie” or “honey” or any of that shit. Or even when I’m surfing about online I seem to be bombarded with ads for how to loose weight or otherwise change the shape of my body. Someone has even been sending me Strivectin neck cream. They seem to have figured out my passwords on a couple sites and had it shipped to me using my own credit card. I tried to get the IP address from Amazon but they claim to not have a way to know that information. Anyone with half a brain knows that is a lie. I don’t put anything past Team Bezos. I have never once received any payment of royalties for copies of my books that have sold — books I used his company’s platform to create. I’m pretty sure all of my devices are hacked and there also seems to be some aspect of this “joke” that includes speaking in Spanish and cleaning my house. Ha ha. Funny joke. What was it? People suck. It’s not funny. I’m not Kelly or Sharon Osborn. I’m not a Kardashian. I’m not a Rich Bitch.

And all this after I wake up and end each and every day in severe physical discomfort. So, Assholes, I’m just a Bitch. Just don’t ever mistake me for being Basic. I am also an assault survivor, H1N1 survivor and COVID survivor. I’m certainly not a sweet woman. My flavor encompasses a spectrum of the doshas. What did Ani say…32 flavors and then some?

On my night stand I have my ballot for the California recall election. I’m voting against the recall, just as I did for Gov. Davis. Gavin is no bigger jerk than any of the other Governors out there and there is NO ONE on the ballot who I want to vote for. Seriously, it’s like reading the intake/sign-in list at John George or the drunk tank or some cult-retreat or time-share pitch. There’s a couple big names known for attention-whoring, one or two that I might consider if there were actual debates and a fair round of campaigning, and then a bunch of folks who I don’t know from a hole in the ground. Come on. No one is informed well enough to vote for any of these people. I can’t believe we are wasting resources on this. As if California wasn’t already bleeding tax dollars due to a long history of self harm. Persons who cut themselves (cutters) usually get locked up and drugged. If you think Gavin has broken the law then let's have an indictment and appoint someone in the interim. Then have a real election with a reasonable ballot. I'm not playing this game, and no, Gavin, I don't like the shit you've been serving lately. Where's your spine, or do you really believe the all the shit you've been pushing? If so, I had no idea. Wow. You suck. I won't vote for you next real election.

In my morning media review I saw a clip of some girl complaining about a new YouTube policy regarding Faith Healers. I guess they decided that if you claim to be able to heal someone with only the power of prayer that you will be censored. I have mixed feelings about this. As a Reiki practitioner and person who has been known to pray the Rosary I most certainly believe in Divine intervention in situations of health and healing. I also support a person’s right to believe whatever they believe, especially when it comes to religion and spirituality. Is it okay to say you believe prayer has the power to heal? Yes. Is it okay to tell someone you promise that your prayer will heal them? NO. NO IT’S NOT. As a certified teacher and practitioner of Reiki, which is not Faith Healing but a complimentary modality, I instruct everyone I ever give Reiki to, to please consult a licensed medical practitioner for any and all health concerns and not have expectation of outcome to Reiki treatment. I believe Reiki, like prayer, has the power to do miracles. But a miracle is a miracle because it can not be predicted or produced on demand. It can only happen by the will of the Divine. I am not God. Are you saying you are? So, I see no problem with YouTube requiring anyone offering Faith Healing or Advice on complimentary modalities to offer a disclaimer that they are not a licensed medical professional. That allows the viewer to consume the media in an informed way. That is not too much to ask. It is not censorship. That is transparency. That woman needs to get her panties in a bunch over something worthwhile.

Then I was reading this article by some Lefty in Chicago bitching about whiny Trump supporters mad that the author, a Biden supporter, wasn’t being nice to them. OMG. STFU. I didn’t vote for Trump OR Biden and I’m supposed to be nice to all of you jerks? Both of you out there acting like spoiled children or worse. Seriously. You suck. Who paid you to write that article? They suck too. In fact, they suck worse.

Then I saw this video about how the Sun hasn’t burned us to a crisp yet. So I guess there’s that ray of sunshine.

Oh and there was this video of some government lady in Australia talking about how they don’t want some people to get some certain treatment. It’s like all governments are talking out their mouths and assholes at the same time…or maybe everyone just has bad breath. Anyone got a TicTak or piece of gum?

Ugh…and the FDA clown show and blood types and how many needles how many times. When am I getting a tax write off for my tattoo, damn it?

So..yeah…what did I mean by Cowboys and Indians? Well depends on what you mean by Cowboy and what you mean by Indian. People are allowing the government to treat them more and more like cattle everyday…yoga is very Indian…the pants I'm wearing today are from India...Peoples of the Americas are sometimes called Indians...what’s the vaccination rate on the Reservations...just wondering….Omar and I are in a photo at the beginning of the article with our faces super-imposed on an image of two ridiculous people wearing Western-style hats and chaps…just a little tongue ’n' cheek there for ya.

Finally and on a TOTALLY unrelated random musical note of listening nostalgia…does anyone else agree with me that Kevin Durant looks like a young Billy Ocean with shorter hair?